The End - Visions of Apocalypse

NORMAN GRAY Relapse

Norman Gray is a 24 year old aspiring author from Toronto, Canada. He began pursuing his lifelong dream of becoming a science-fiction/fantasy writer in 2010, when he joined the sffworld.com writing forum. Norman attributes most of his knowledge of writing to this forum, and the invaluable wealth of expertise possessed by its members.

In Relapse, Earth is on the brink of annihilation. Two scientists disrupt the flow of time to prevent the apocalypse from occurring. But while the entire human race is unknowingly sent ten years into the past, one man retains his memory of the life that was taken from him. Haunted by his memories, his only choice is to struggle through his dark past in order to relive his bright future, and once again win the heart of the woman he loves. But is he up to the task?

July 8th, 2022

They were going to make history, and end history.

Dr. Emil Werner and Dr. Joseph Heinrich worked tediously. They left the television on in their rundown workshop while making their preparations, watching in hope of hearing some good news. It seemed there was no such thing today; in fact, the news seemed worse by the minute.

“The world holds its breath, mesmerized by an unprecedented phenomenon that perhaps threatens our very existence.” The newscast showed an image of a black object in the sky, growing nearer. Then they cut away to a media conference where a woman standing at a podium was bombarded with questions.

Werner toggled some switches while keeping one eye on the T.V.

“Device is powering up. Standing by.”

“What can you tell us about this object and its origins?”

“All systems activating,” Heinrich affirmed.

“Very little. From the images we’ve received, it is estimated to be one hundred times the diameter of Earth, approximately. Astronomers first located it traveling from within Sagittarius A-star, roughly two hours ago.”

“All calibrations correct. Reset point programmed for June 16th, 2012. All readings are normal.”

“Have there been any attempts to make contact with it or divert it?”

“Device at full power.”

“All attempts to make any form of contact have been unsuccessful.”

“Are we ready, Dr. Werner?”

“What is its current path?”

Werner inspected everything one final time. “All systems are ready. Stand by for reset.”

“It appears to be making a nearly direct voyage toward the sun. Neptune, Mars, and Jupiter will be within its estimated collision course. Given the object’s size and unprecedented speed, it will likely continue its path with little resistance. Earth will narrowly evade impact.”

Werner rested his hand over the switch and stopped. Sweat poured down his forehead. This was it. His next action would decide the fate of the world. Humanity would never progress beyond this point in time, whether they fail or succeed.

“What do you and your colleagues believe will be the result if it collides into the sun?”

“We expect the result will be devastating. The sun could be displaced, possibly even destroyed.”

“Then what is the likelihood of Earth’s survival?”

“Miracles can happen… All we can do now, is hope for one.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

Werner stood silent for a moment. “When we go back, everything will be just as it was. Everything. Even our own memories. It will be as if the last ten years never happened. How can we prevent this from happening again?”

“We can’t,” Heinrich said regretfully. “But if nothing changes then we will reset again in another ten years.” He paused. “It’s entirely possible that we’ve already done this a hundred times before.”

“So. This is it then.”

“It’s this, or extinction, Emil.”

There was a long, dreadful silence. Werner stared at the switch; just a harmless little switch, like that of a light or a fuse. “We should wait.”

“Wait for what? A divine miracle?”

“Yes. Why activate it until we absolutely must?”

They waited. The tension grew as the object approached the sun.

“It must be done now.”

“A moment longer.” Only a sliver of sunlight remained, darkness falling fast.

“By the time we see the impact it could already be too late!”

It slowly created an eclipse, turning daytime into night. Then it happened; an explosion lit up the darkness, flames spreading around the black silhouette.

“May God have mercy on us.” Werner flicked the switch.

June 16th, 2012

Johnathan Gibbs awoke from a dream. A dream that felt so real, yet so wonderful that it had to be impossible: He dreamt he had a wife, a home that they had bought together, and two wonderful children. He was holding them in his arms. The last thing he remembered was seeing a bright fire illuminating the sky, and telling his wife he loved her more than anything.

We’ll always be together, she said. Even in the hereafter.

But the bed he woke up in was not theirs. This was his old apartment; seventh story of the Elmont building, 3rd Street. He shook the sleep out of his head. The memories didn’t fade, didn’t dissolve like most dreams do. He remembered her name; Kara. Their kids, Elena and Johnathan Jr. Their address, 45 Grand Oak Drive. Aluminium sidings painted powder blue, white shutters on the windows. A two car garage. Home.

It was real. He was sure. And yet he was here, in the cramped apartment from his bleak past. He got out of bed, went into the washroom and looked at himself in the mirror. His reflection showed a man he had long forgotten; a young man, thin and frail, pale and sickly looking. A man with many burdens to bear.

This isn’t real, he thought. It can’t be.

He ran up Grand Oak Drive, struggling for breath. He reached number 45. It hardly looked like his house; the shutters were gone. The sidings were a faded white. Someone else’s car was parked in the driveway. Panicking, he threw open the front door and barged in. “Kara?”

There was an elderly man sitting in the living room. He stared fearfully at John.

“Kara! Kara where are you?”

“Get out!” The man yelled.

“This is my house!” John screamed back at him.

“Get out or I’ll call the police!”

This must be hell, John thought. I’m dead and I’m in hell.

June 21st, 2012

They had dressed him in the same blue attire as every other patient, and gave him sedatives. He felt like a zombie; his eyes were in a distant place, his head swaying back and forth lazily. John wanted to sleep, wanted to be left alone. But they wouldn’t leave him be.

He was escorted to the psychiatrist’s office and seated in front of the doctor’s desk. “How are you feeling today, Mr. Gibbs?” he was asked. John just shook his head, unable to find the will to even speak. “You have a visitor,” the doctor said. Someone entered the room.

“It’s always something, isn’t John?” A stern voice addressed him. A chill ran up his spine. John slowly raised his head, his eyes confirming his worst fear. There was his father, with that condescending look John remembered so well. “You broke into an elderly man’s house and assaulted him. For Christ’s sake, kid, when are you gonna grow a brain?”

John laughed meekly.

The old man became very angry. “Is something funny, John?”

“My father died years ago,” he said. “He died and I was happier for it.”

“Cut the crap, John, you’re not—”

“Fuck you, whoever you are. Even if you really are my dad.”

“You’ve gone completely backwards, kid. Enough is enough. This is your problem, you deal with it. I’m done fixing your mistakes.” The old man turned and walked away.

“I watched them lower you into the ground!” John yelled. “Best day of my life!”

December 9th, 2014

Time had passed, more time than John cared to count. He spent his days staring at the white walls of his room and watching the seasons pass by through his window. He spent his nights talking to Kara in his head, imagining that she was always there with him like she promised she would be.

We’ll always be together.

Maybe he really had lost his mind. Everything had seemed so perfect, like a miracle. Maybe his perfect life had just been a wishful fantasy. Everyone else seemed to think so.

It was time to let go, time to free himself from his pain. He was ready.

He had managed to steal a utility knife from the janitor’s storage room early in the day, carrying it in his waistband until they locked him back in his room that night. He sat on the floor, staring at the dull blade. He thought it over, knowing deep down that this was the only option left for him.

He gripped the blade tight in his hand. He knew the way it had to be done; up the arm, not across the wrist. He sunk the blade deep into the skin, trembling with pain and terror. Tears welled up in his eyes. Just do it. One quick motion. Blood was already flowing up out of his arm, running around his wrist and pattering softly on the white cell floor. This was the point of no return.

He looked away and ran the blade up his arm. He screamed in agony, turning back to see blood coursing out from his wrist almost to the back of his elbow. He trembled and heaved. Soon his heart was pounding madly, desperately trying to pump blood that wasn’t there. He started to feel a terrible chill. So this is death.

He could hear the nurses hurriedly trying to unlock the door from the other side. John’s eyes were twitching uncontrollably, his vision blurring. He felt very lightheaded and toppled over, his head crashing into the bloody cell floor. Then everything went dark.

June 16th, 2012

John awoke from a terrible nightmare. He dreamt he had been locked away in an insane asylum, and the only way out was… No. No, it was only a dream. He was in his apartment again, in his bed. But if it was just a dream, then why did his misery feel so real? He looked at his arm. No cuts, no scars. He took a moment to catch his breath, to awaken and let the memory fade. It didn’t.

Something else clawed at the back of his mind. A life he once lived. People he loved. Was it real?

Kara. I have to find Kara.

He marched up Sawyer Street, constantly fearful that they were looking for him, that at any moment they might find him and drag him away again. He reached her house, the one she lived in before they had been together. John frantically knocked on her door, praying that she’d know who he was. He needed her to remember.

Suddenly Kara opened the door, and there was a silent pause as they stared at each other. A smile formed on John’s face, a tear rolled down his cheek. It had been so long. So long since he’d seen her other than in his dreams. So long since he’d heard her voice other than in his head.

“Yes?” she said. “Can I… Help you?”

His smile faded but the tears kept coming. “Kara,” he whispered.

“Yes?”

“Help me, please. Tell me that you remember.”

There was a long pause. She stared at him fearfully, saying nothing.

John reached the intersection at the end of Sawyer Street. A bus was coming. He stood on the sidewalk, looking calm and inconspicuous. He could hear the drone of its diesel engine as it sped closer. He waited until the last possible moment. When it drove into the intersection, he stepped off the sidewalk and into its path. The driver didn’t have time to apply the brakes. The bumper shattered John’s knees only an instant before his head cracked the windshield.

June 16th, 2012

John awoke with a pounding headache and tears in his eyes. He left his bed, and marched straight to the window. He lifted it open, and before he could make sense of his memories, he stepped onto the sill and jumped. Within moments, he broke against the sidewalk.

June 16th, 2012

John awoke. A dream of sweet death lingered in his mind. He turned and looked at his bedroom window, still firmly shut. He inhaled a deep breath and sighed. Then he got up and went to the kitchen, grabbed a large knife from the cutlery drawer and drove it into his stomach repeatedly. He hesitated at first, leaving shallow wounds that stung terribly. Memories of Kara flooded into his thoughts against his will, tormenting him. He wished he could forget. Why couldn’t he forget?

He drove the knife in hard, pressing the blade through as far as he could, wailing in agony all the while. His hands trembled at his sides as he looked down at himself, the handle of the blade protruding from the bloody wound. He hoped to punish himself enough that he’d be forgiven for whatever he did to deserve this. He hoped to be granted peace.

John breathed heavily, overwhelmed by pain and wishing death would come soon. Blood had run down his legs and pooled around his feet over the tiled kitchen floor, more blood than he thought possible. His heart had gone from a fast pounding to a spastic twitching. His legs felt weak, his body cold. He fell to his knees, and while he was kneeling in his own blood, he prayed.

Please God. Let me die. Just let it end… Then everything went dark.

October 19th, 2019

“It’s finally ready.”

Heinrich stood back for a better view; it didn’t look like much, if truth were told. Certainly not like a device that had the power to reset time.

“I wonder if it actually works,” Werner mused. “But, I suppose we’ll never know. It’s somewhat depressing.”

“It works, Emil. You know it does.”

“But why not… Try it?”

“And trap humanity in an infinite loop? Really?”

Werner sighed. “I don’t know why we ever built this cursed thing in the first place. If it works, then the world will essentially end. If it doesn’t, then it will have failed its purpose and the world will still end. What’s the point in creating something if you can never test it to see if it works?”

“Ignorance is bliss, Emil. Wouldn’t you want to relive all of the wonderful events of the past?”

“Not if I knew that there would be no future.”

“And what if we’ve already activated the machine once? What if we’ve relived this very moment a thousand times before? Does that make you any less eager to see what the next moment will bring?”

Werner contemplated for a second. He smiled. “I suppose not. Damn these hypothetical questions! We should have never built this cursed thing.”

“You already said that.” Heinrich laughed. “Perhaps we are running in a loop. What do you think we’re destined to do next?”

“I think destiny dictates that we call it a day, head to the tavern, and get completely and utterly smashed.”

Heinrich smiled and nodded. “I can see a pattern forming already.”

John followed them through the park, keeping his distance. There were three of them; a tall man with red hair, a little girl, and Kara. They all smiled and laughed together. It drove John mad seeing Kara looking so happy about all of it, seeing the joy she once felt from him coming from some other man.

Everything had failed, time and time again. He had tried to show her that they were soul mates, tried fruitlessly to recreate the circumstances of their first encounter, reliving all of the agonizing years before their meeting. He had tried taking shortcuts, forcing their meeting long before it was supposed to happen. Hardest of all, he had tried to forget. He realized that the problem was him. He wasn’t the man she fell in love with. He was a shadow of himself; an empty silhouette of the man he used to be.

Every little change held repercussions; everything had to be the exact same. It was impossible. But he kept trying to win her over. He had to, as much as it hurt him. All he had was time. It was this or nothing.

Kara and the redheaded man exchanged words and a long kiss, and then he departed, leaving Kara alone with the girl. Now was John’s chance. He approached her.

“Lovely day today, isn’t it?” John asked.

She nodded dismissively. “Yep.”

“Great day for a walk.”

“Mmmhmm,” was her agreement. John stared at Kara, but she avoided eye contact. Speak to me, Kara. Look at me, please. At least give me that. She kept looking away.

The little girl looked up at John and smiled. “Hi!” she said.

He stared at the little girl. She had green eyes and curly red hair. He hated her. “Hello. What’s your name?”

Kara quickly intervened. “Elena, honey, I told you. No talking to strangers.”

John’s eyes flared open. “Elena!” He shouted. “Elena? It wasn’t enough to give a child to another man, you had to steal our daughter’s name too?”

Kara backed away in a panic. She pulled the girl close to her. ”Leave us alone, please.”

“Talk to me, Kara! Treat me with something other than hate and disgust!”

“Why do you know my name?”

“Your maiden name is Vanhemert. You like classical music. You’re a Libra. I’m your soul mate. I know everything about you.”

“Please, just leave us alone!”

“I made a vow; until death do us part. I mean to keep that vow, Kara.”

“Get away from me!” she screamed.

“If only you knew!” John yelled. “If only you knew what I’ve put myself through for you!”

Heinrich was sitting at the bar, looking into his nearly empty glass of beer and wondering if he should order another. He wondered if it was his fate. A good enough excuse. He signaled the bartender and pointed to his glass.

While waiting for his drink, he wondered what the future would bring and what part he’d have in it. Wondered if the device was a blessing, or a curse. He turned to Werner. He was reading a newspaper, his eyes skimming forward and darting back as he read each line.

“About this time restoration instrument we’ve made,” Werner said.

“What about it?” Heinrich responded with feigned disinterest, as if he wasn’t spending every waking moment thinking about it himself.

“Well, what if it works?”

Heinrich paused. “Then we go back and relive our lives in blissful ignorance.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. If there ever comes a time, god forbid, that we actually have to use it… I mean, what’s to say we haven’t reset once already?”

“Nothing, I suppose. Why worry? Nothing to be done about it. There’s no way to alter the future without knowing what the future is first.”

There was another moment’s silence. “What if someone did know the future? What if someone could remember?”

The bartender brought Heinrich’s beer over. Heinrich narrowed his eyes at Werner. “How exactly?”

“I don’t know how. But what if they could?”

Irritated, Heinrich shook his head. “Why does it matter, Emil?”

Werner lowered his newspaper on the bar and slid it over so that Heinrich could read the page:

He looked up at Werner with his eyebrows elevated. “Tell me you don’t believe this foolishness.”

“Read on,” Werner told him.

Heinrich drank while his eyes darted back and forth over the page, taking it all in: Celebrity fatalities predicted in exact detail. Natural disasters pinpointed to the minute. Gibbs was even claiming that he was from the future. Astounding, if any of it were true. It likely wasn’t.

“Well? Tell me you don’t find that somewhat concerning.”

”Don’t believe everything you read,” Heinrich said with a note of uncertainty.

“It might be worth finding this man,” Werner said. “Imagine what wealth of knowledge he could possess if he truly does know the future. If he’s seen the apocalypse, he could help us prevent it.”

The intense look in his eyes suggested that Werner was quite serious about seeking this man out. It left Heinrich feeling very unsettled; this Gibbs fellow was either brimming with lies or worse, the terrifying truth. Heinrich didn’t want to hear either one.

He looked down at his beer, surprised to see that it was nearly empty again. He wondered when he’d finally drink enough to drown his worries. Maybe never, but it was worth trying. He signaled the bartender and pointed to his glass.

July 8th, 2022

John remembered this day, so vaguely that he thought maybe he had imagined it. He had been a very different man in a different place then, but the event was the same; a gigantic object hurdled through the sky, impossibly dark and completely unnatural. Its shadow passed over the Earth as it seemed to speed toward the sun. Immense darkness, only a sliver of sunlight peeking out around its edge. And then it happened; for just a brief moment, a flash of fire illuminated everything. Flames burst out around the object, engulfing it as if the sun had exploded. It was beautiful.

The first time he saw it had been long ago. He was with Kara and the children, and he had told them that he loved them. That was the last time they had all been together, the last time he’d been a father and husband. The last time he had been whole.

We’ll always be together. Even in the hereafter.

June 16th, 2012

John’s eyelids snapped open. Bright spots were still dancing over his eyes, the memory of the event burned into his brain. It was real. Something had actually crashed into the sun. John was back in bed in his old apartment, except he hadn’t died. He was sure of it. He had been pulled back too soon.

Why do I remember?

He had asked himself that question a million times, never getting any closer to an answer. But this had been no coincidence. Something or someone was doing this, turning back the clock to avoid disaster. It was time to find out why this was happening. No matter how long it took, he would find the cause. It was his only way out.

July 8th, 2022

It was around noon. Werner limped into the tavern, easing the burden with his walking cane. He sat himself at the bar, climbing up into his stool and stretching out his aching leg. The television was on above the bar, displaying the local news. Werner picked up a menu and was about to flip through it, when he noticed the strange looking man sitting two seats away, staring back at him.

Werner said nothing at first, merely ignored him and turned his eyes to the television. But the man continued to stare. “Is there a problem, sir?”

The strange man smiled wide. “I’m just glad to see you’re still alive, old friend. I would have been disappointed if you’d killed yourself.”

“I’m sorry, have we met before?”

“Many times, Dr. Werner.”

“No one has called me Doctor for nearly a decade.”

“Just Emil, then?”

“Pardon me,” Werner said irritably, “but where have we met?”

“Here, among many other places.”

“I don’t remember.”

“No one remembers. Not like I do.”

Werner gave the strange man a sideways glance and then turned his attention to the menu.

“They’re already bringing our meals,” the man said. “I ordered you veal.”

Werner slapped the menu down on the bar. “How kind of you,” he said sarcastically. “But I’m a vegetarian.”

“I know, that’s why I ordered veal.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Tell me, Dr. Werner, if you were on death row and you could have anything as your last meal, would you want a veggie platter?”

“I’m not on death row.”

“Yes you are. We all are.”

“Are you insane?” Werner asked.

“I certainly hope so,” the man said. “If I’m not insane, then there’s something really wrong with me.”

The stranger got up from his seat and sat right next to Werner. “Does the name Joseph Heinrich mean anything to you?”

Werner’s head perked up. “Yes,” he said. “He was a colleague of mine, many years ago. I take it you are affiliated with Dr. Heinrich then?”

“Deeply affiliated.”

Werner nodded. “He and I had plans for constructing a fantastic device capable of things you could only ever dream of.”

“How fascinating,” the man said.

“But fate, being the cruel mistress that it is, forced us to abandon the project in its infancy.” Werner shook his head in regret.

“What a tragedy.”

“Such is life. So, how is Joseph?”

“Dead,” the man spoke without a hint of sadness. “His wife died eight years ago. His only child passed away a year after that. Then he was hit by a car while crossing the street, crippled and left permanently bound to a wheelchair for the rest of his days. He became a recluse, retreating to the safety of solitude, ever fearful that he was cursed. I could easily list the many lesser tragedies that occurred over the last ten years of his life, but there’s hardly time for that. He killed himself about a year ago. A shame. Truly, a pointless waste. If only he were here today, then he could die alongside his friend.”

Werner stared angrily. “Who are you?”

“We interrupt this report to bring you breaking news.”

The man leaned in close. “I think you know the answer to that. I think deep down you’ve been tormenting yourself for years, running through all of the possibilities. You know that you’ve done things you can’t possibly remember. You spend all day every day thinking about what could have been and you know that just by thinking about building that device, there is the possibility that you’ve built it already.”

“We’ll be keeping you informed as we learn more about this unbelievable event.”

“You’re a fucking liar!” Werner yelled.

“You two were the greatest liars to ever live. Letting the world believe that it has a future. You’ve made fools out of everyone. Except for me. You won’t fool me.”

“The world holds its breath, mesmerized by an unprecedented phenomenon that perhaps threatens our very existence.”

“In a different time and place, you two made a terrible mistake, one that needs to be corrected.”

A sinking feeling weighed heavy in Werner’s stomach. He suddenly felt paralyzed, struggling to speak, to breathe. “I merely dreamt of saving the world.” He thought back to all of the hardships he’d endured over the last ten years, knowing in his heart that they were not coincidences. He leaned over his cane, looking down at his deformed leg. “What have you done to me?”

“What can you tell us about this object and its origins?”

“Everything. I made the last ten years of your life a living hell. I ruined every good thing that was ever going to happen to you. And most importantly, I made sure that your device was never built.”

Suddenly the tavern darkened. Outside, the sky was enveloped by a black shape that stretched from horizon to horizon.

“You’ve damned us all!”

“On the contrary. I’ve saved us all from damnation. Admit it. You’d rather see Earth die, than see it carry on in some false existence for all eternity.”

“All we can do now, is hope for a miracle.”

Werner’s hands shook. His eyes twitched. “I should kill you.”

“I’ve already killed myself a thousand times, hoping to escape from the nightmare you created. You never told anyone; I had to search for hundreds of years to find you, without a clue where to start. Do you have ANY idea what that was like? Can you imagine a worse torture? The places I’ve been to, looking without knowing what I was looking for?”

Werner’s fear was now surpassing his anger. “How do you remember?”

“If only I knew. If only I could forget.” He peered out the window. “It never ceases to amaze me, no matter how many times I see it,” he said without concern. “Not much longer now.”

Werner watched as the immense blackness shrunk in the sky, distancing itself from Earth and choking out the light as it neared the sun. “Why didn’t you just kill me years ago?”

“Far too easy.”

“You could have warned us. You could have saved the world!”

“Why?” The man hissed. “Why is the world worth saving?”

“But… We’ve given you a gift! You have infinite knowledge!”

“GIFT!?” The man cried. “Can you make my wife love me again?”

“I don’t—”

“Can you give me my kids back?”

“Well—”

“Can you stitch my mind back together, after tearing it into a thousand pieces?”

Werner didn’t answer.

“You’ve taken away everything, and given me nothing.” The man got up from his seat. “This is it,” he said. “No time now for our last meals, sadly.” He walked out the door.

Werner waited, and then reluctantly followed the man outside. He stared up at the sky.

The street was already crowded with people, all of them watching as daylight dwindled. “The world died a long time ago. It’s just been waiting for someone to bury it.” The massive shape turned day into night, eclipsing the sun. John grinned from ear to ear. So this is death.

The sun exploded. Fire spread across the sky, its heat reaching the Earth. A scalding wind crushed down on John, crushed down on everyone. There was a deafening roar as buildings collapsed around him. There was bright light, fire. And pain, pain worse than any John ever knew. But the pain belonged to him, and he welcomed it.

Peace. Peace for everyone. Most of all, for me.

Werner collapsed to the ground, wailing in torment. John leaned over him. “Her name was Kara,” he said. “Our children were named Jonathan and Elena. They were the world to me, and you took them.”

Suddenly, the flames receded into the black object, and intense brightness gave way to absolute darkness, and frigid cold. John’s breath steamed as he exhaled. He smiled, imagining the entire world dying around him. He could hear their screams of terror and agony.

I’ve freed you all. You’re welcome.

The pain overwhelmed John, forcing him to close his eyes.

He didn’t open them again.